So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
