I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
