I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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