It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Threesome in a minivan. New low
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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