Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
