ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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