I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
it's like iHOP with fire
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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