I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
