He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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