The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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