I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize