i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
