You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
