so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
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And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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