so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Randomize
