Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
