"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
