he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
