And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
