There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize
