On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
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and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
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im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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