ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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