Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize