he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
