There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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