stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
