dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
