dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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