The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
