The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
