Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
