ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
