it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize