I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
