Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
