No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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