he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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