you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
