I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
