dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
