Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
