and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just cropdusted the office
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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