i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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