They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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