How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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