She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
