woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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