i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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