"it" just moved
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The best revenge is premature balding
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
