it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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