tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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