Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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