I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
