proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
