So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
