meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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