i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
