i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
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We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
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it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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