I think my vagina is haunted
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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