Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
