I think scott just propositioned me for sex
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
