We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
