just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You have to summon your inner elephant
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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