they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
