I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize
