she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
