Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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