hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
