I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
