ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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