i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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