the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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