he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
This is my gift to your gina
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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